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All through my day to day activities I encounter people who are still doing things the same way. No change or even a remote attempt at change.  This got me to wondering, why am I so eager for a change in me?

Maya Angelou once said, “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” This is such a prolific statement. Knowing some other way that is better than the way we’re accustomed to should at least make us want to try it, right?


Everyone is not the same, but knowing and understanding who you are is a part of self-love.  At the bare minimum, everyone does that (wink wink).  Not pointing fingers, this post is about me as much as someone else, so I am the preacher and the choir. And because it’s for me, I should say that I’m looking for change and growth in myself.  I intend to define myself for myself.


Perfect progress is slow and steady. For me to become who I envision myself to be, I gotta take baby steps. I’m also a little antsy, so I need as small amount of steps as possible. With that in mind, I’ve come up with six steps to help me begin to define myself for myself.


For me, without God, I am nothing.  In 2016 I found that I got away from daily bible reading and quite honestly my life suffered in many ways. My belief, is that my identity begins and ends in Christ, without him my definition would be incomplete.


Discovering Me

 Who am I? What do I really want in life? Why do I like Keyshia Cole better than Jill Scott?  Why don’t I care for bootleg movies, even though I’m frugal? Knowing why I am who I am will help me reach the next level in my self-improvement.


Telling myself the truth

Being honest about myself is the only way for me to make real changes. I gotta get down in the crevices of my psyche to understand why I always say I want to save money, but desire and buy three or four Coach bags a year! Going deep with myself will expose my rawness and also help me deal with my inner issues, so I can be a better me.

Knowing and Understanding Where I come from

I am African American woman and just being this race and gender can create hurdles in how I am perceived and accepted. I must take the time to read and learn about my ancestors, to know where I come from. Everyone should do this no matter what race and gender that you are. Learning of your origin can create deep pride in your being and also let you know you can change and be whoever you want to be.

Make List

Let’s face it, day to day life is fast and hectic, and I find myself making list about everything, so why not make a list about changes I want to make for the betterment of me?  What hobbies have I not tried yet?  I can create a bucket list and scratch one item off at a time. What I know for sure is that most of the things I want to be and do are in reach. I just gotta make the time and be willing to go for it!


What am I here for? How can I be of service to others? Defining myself opens me up to so many different avenues that will give me the courage to step into my true calling.  Gaining clarity in my life will position me to develop purpose.  

As with all things, this list is a work in progress, but it’s a great place for me to start.  With practice, perseverance, and my lists (hehehee), I’ll be closer to my definition of me in no time.









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As we’re nearing the end of the year, a lot of us are beginning to take stock of our lives, how to live our best life, and how to not make the same mistakes over again. I know with me I’ve found that a new flame has started under my financial literacy and what I realize for me is that I’ve nowhere near obtained enough knowledge to claim any altitude whatsoever in finances. This week has been all about me learning how to grow my money and living my best life with it.

So, my quest for financial savviness and all that it entails got me to thinking what top five things would I want my two daughters Brittney and Mia Joyce to know. Often as parents we believe we are teaching our children how to be, but in fact children do as we do and not as we say!! Approaching 2017 is exciting and scary with hopes for newness and the unchartered territory this country is headed in, being able to stay rooted and on purpose is essential to success for all of us in the coming year.

2017 has been labeled the year of many things. Pantene has named it the year of green. The Chinese call it the year of the Rooster.  Some say 2017 is all about equality, love, and hope. My thought is that all these things are true, but that the essence of 2017 is all about you. Making something all about ourselves is bold, selfish, and dare I say sexy.  But how does one make it about their self?  How do you make it about YOU? Easy. Growing into your best you makes it about you.

Starting a new year has me pumped. My creative juices are bubbling, my quest for fat pockets is mind boggling, and my desire for Brittney & MiaJoyce to learn from my mistakes is strong.  With that being said here’s my top five to a better you in 2017.


  1. Go Deeper

If I could turn back time I would definitely tell myself to spend more time connecting with a higher power. To each person, the name is different, but for me his name is Jesus.  Spending time developing a direct connection to a higher power evokes gratitude, perseverance, and love. Three things every person needs to live their best life.

  1. Spend time alone

When I was younger I hated being by myself. That always felt like punishment. As I’ve gotten older I have come to find that there is power in solitude. Spending time alone with yourself is an act of self-love. How else are we to get down to what we really want for our life?

  1. Pay yourself

Another great act of self love. Paying yourself after you pay your tithes tells your inner self that you matter. Your future is important and no bill or expenditure has a greater significance to you than you.

  1. Love Yourself

Tried and true we will never be our best self without this. Loving yourself can ripple positively in your life. With self-love we gain more pleasure from our relationships, we fall prey to less destructive situations, and we  find our purpose in life quicker.

  1. Set Goals and Work EM

Any person worth their weight in gold should have a goal. Goals make life exciting and rewarding. With goals we have something to look forward to. Any positive activity or energy we participate in contributes to our total wellbeing. Goals are where it’s at.

I could go on and on, but I’ll save my ramblings for future post. Here’s to Brittney, MiaJoyce, and every young girl or women navigating through life. It truly is what we make it.



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